The Door


I’m ready to invite someone into my life again. When I say “I’m ready” I now truly mean I am comfortable with where I am in life, I don’t need someone to fill a void, make me whole, complete me, or any such bulldust. I mean I’m ready to share and experience life again with someone else, I’m after a partner not a heroine or a damsel in distress.
But.
“Would you like to go out on a date?” What makes this one phrase so damn hard to say? It’s only nine words. It took me a while to put my finger on it and what it boils down to is that the one thing is of course—fear. Not the fear of being rejected, or of not being good enough. No, it’s none of those; it’s the fear of letting someone inside my walls. Knowing that in nine simple words I am opening a door inside myself so the person sitting opposite me can come inside and Love, Hurt, Help, Betray, Strengthen or Weaken. I don’t truly know the person sitting across from me yet and I don’t know what they are like as a person or will do in the future, but I really do want to find out. But open that door I must if I want to have any form of meaningful relationship.

For me opening that door scares the absolute living daylights out of me.I think this door may always be hard for me to open but I also know the rewards are worth it.

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